Giant gate to be installed north of Kapa'a

North Shore residents say, 'to keep coast pristine, keep working class out'
The Kaua'i Onion

KALIHIWAI — Citing security and property values as concerns, North Shore residents have asked the County to use money allocated for an Eastside Bike Path to instead be used for a giant gate north of Anahola.

The request was submitted with the signatures of 6,000 residents who protested the Bike Path, one of whom called the plan a "working-class attempt at desecrating sacred land imbued with beauty that should be reserved for hotel and condo use."

The signatures were collected in record-time, in less than 48 hours following a heated town-hall style meeting earlier this week.

"We got the support in print because, quite frankly, we have the time," Fran Cornfield, a retiree from San Francisco, Calif., said.

"If I had a nickel for every time I've been offended by the sense of entitlement people have here about what to do with this slice of paradise, I'd be even richer than I am already."

The petition asks that a gate be installed from Anahola to Ha'ena, suggesting a "toll-booth for tourists" so it can help pay for itself long-term.

"If the County wants to further ruin its urban areas, let it. But we're saving the North Shore for those of us who moved here to escape that ugly sense of reality."

The fortress-like gate could require pylons, but North Shore residents state they would commission North Shore resident Joseph Brescia, a North Shore expert in 'iwi/building, to help with the legality issue.

"We have shitloads of attorneys, contractors and money up here, North of Ben Stiller's house," said Thomas Brentwood, of Princeville. "Bring it on."

The petition followed a contentious meeting earlier this week in which County Attorneys serving the interests of Hawaiian culture but not in sync with the squeaky wheels in attendance, pulled out umbrellas to stave off organic tomatoes hurled at them in tandem with being called "sellouts."

One elderly woman, Kupuna Kai, stated she liked the bike path, but was told to go fuck herself.

"I've never, in all my life, heard that word used at me," she said, noting, "but I must admit. Now that I've heard it, I completely have changed my mind. That argument makes sense."

Beatrice Canine, formerly of Texas, said, "Having moved here two years ago, I was royally pissed off when I found out Eastsiders wanted to have a bike path coming up to the North Shore.," Canine said. "I mean, the reason I moved here was to get away from all that urban bullshit. I don't want to deal with traffic, and I certainly don't want to desecrate any Hawaiian gravesites. I mean, let a developer at least come in and build on the coast, so it can be of use to my family when they visit me from the Mainland."